Now or Never
by iamawhovian11
Summary: A smillan fic in which Karen Gillan and Matt Smith meet in the audition room for Doctor Who, and from then on their lives are changed forever or some cliche crap like that yay smillan
1. The Lobby

_**Author's Note:** _**Helloooooo my children. This is just the beginning! This is going to be quite long, actually. Maybe. I don't know. Well it's definitely not over yet. I'm rating it T for now, but it's most likely gonna get dirty later *wink wink, nudge nudge* yeah so I might change it to M later on. I hope you all like it! Oh, and I think I'm going to switch back and forth between Matt and Karen's POV (point of view).**

* * *

_It's now or never. Just go, it'll all be over before you know it,_ Karen thought somewhat encouragingly to herself. The warm air was a delightful welcome after the cold brisk air as she pushed open the door. She had always gotten cold easily, and her nose and fingertips were red and almost numb. Karen quite liked the cold, however—it refreshed her and always kept her focused. She walked down the long hall that led to the audition room, and quietly stepped in to join the others.

There were nine or ten people, and they all glanced up as she entered the room. Karen smiled, which earned her a couple nodding of the heads. They all looked older than her, which she found a bit unnerving. Karen sat down, looping her purse's strap around the back of her chair and adjusting her dress.

A man who was forty or so came out of the audition room, scratching his head and looking down at the ground. He walked out of the lobby without looking up. Another man with a clipboard emerged shortly after him, and called a number, and in went a woman with short brown hair and an extremely pointy nose.

Tension was thick in the air, which made Karen even more nervous. She attempted to relieve some of it by making small talk, but most of the people were too caught up in their own thoughts to hold a conversation for very long.

Just then, a tall and lanky man who looked about twenty-five opened the door, with an enormous grin and floppy hair that fell into his eyes. Under his blazer was a dark blue shirt that read "Radiohead". The man sat himself in a chair across from Karen, next to an elderly woman who he immediately started talking to. Karen couldn't tell what they were talking about, but every once in a while they would laugh; not politely, but wholeheartedly.

Karen alternated between reading over her monologue and mindlessly searching the internet for random things as more people auditioned. Karen was auditioning for the part of Amy Pond, who was to be the new companion in the show Doctor Who. She had been in the show before, in one episode, and found it was rather enjoyable. When her agent told her they were recasting, she had no hesitation to audition again, especially being the big fan she already was.

It had been nearly an hour since she had entered the lobby, and she still hadn't been called. There were now only six other people in the room, counting the man with the Radiohead shirt. As Karen put her phone back in her purse, she felt eyes on her. She glanced up to see the tall man looking at her. Seeing her notice him, he smiled and waved, and then made his way over to sit next to her.

"Matt", he said, extending his arm.

"Karen. Hello", Karen replied, shaking his hand.

"Oooh, Scottish are you?" Matt said, imitating her accent quite badly. "What part?"

She laughed. "Inverness."

"Nice. Will you be using an English or Scottish accent for your audition?"

"Erm, Scottish. I'm not too good at English accents. Guess I'm just hoping that'll be okay."

Matt smiled. "I'm sure it will." Karen smiled in return.

"Hey, I like your shirt."

"Oh yeah? You liked Radiohead?" She nodded. "I'm going to see them in concert in a month. Maybe you could get tickets."

"Karen…Gillan? You're up."

Karen's eyes widened, and she let out a puff of air. She went to the door, then paused to look back at Matt. "Wish me luck?"

"Good luck, Karen! You'll do great. Promise." He said this as though they had been friends for years, and he had absolute faith that she would do good. Great, even. Karen smiled, took another breath, and shut the door behind her.


	2. The Flower Shop

Matt slid his keys across the counter when he got into his flat, making a jangling noise that sounded loudly throughout the silence. He opened the fridge.

"Shit." Of course there wasn't any food. When was there? Settling for a beer and some chips, Matt sat himself down on his couch and turned the TV on. The audition had gone pretty well, in his opinion, but even though he knew he had neither messed up nor broken character, he still felt like he didn't do well enough. He always felt like that after an audition, though. Matt turned the TV off after a half-hearted attempt to find something, and laid back onto the couch, too tired to move himself to his bedroom.

He awoke to the cheerful sound of his alarm clock, wondering furiously when he was going to change that awful tone. Matt hadn't even opened his eyes when he felt one, then two, then four very small paws on his face, causing him to jerk up and nearly throw Git on the floor. Git was his cat, kitten actually, who was given to him by his sister Laura. Matt didn't very much like cats; they were too unfriendly and a little demanding, and not at all cuddly. At least Git wasn't. Matt preferred dogs over cats anytime, however his landlord absolutely hated them, so that was out of the question. Plus, he couldn't very well give away a present from his dear sister, even if she had given away a multitude of presents he had given her.

Matt groaned as he got up from the couch—it wasn't too easy on his back—and fed Git. He needed to be at the flower shop in half an hour, which meant he had to hurry to catch the tube. It was a Saturday, a day off of work for most people, but Matt had been the only one who agreed to work both Fridays and Saturdays, perhaps because he was the only one who was so desperate for money. The lack of money didn't faze him too much, however. If it did, he never would have chosen to be an actor. He just needed a couple extra jobs to keep his apartment when he didn't have acting jobs. From Monday to Thursday, Matt worked many hours at Aisha's, a Middle Eastern restaurant a couple convenient blocks away from his apartment. Sundays were his only days off, and even then he dedicated most of the day to searching for auditions.

While Matt sat in the tube, his ear buds in and music so loud he felt it vibrating in his head, he again ran over his audition for the Doctor in his mind; he didn't remember too much of it (he could never remember his auditions or performances on stage, unless they were really horrible and he messed up a lot), but he did remember seeing a faint smile on one of the judges, which was enough to boost his confidence for the remainder of his monologue. He wanted this job so badly—perhaps more than any other. The show was a huge part of his childhood.

Matt arrived at the flower shop only a few minutes late, swung through the door and kissed Sheri's cheek on her way out. The shop was empty except for an old lady who was peering at the bottom of a vase, trying to read the very small writing.

"Hello, miss? Do you need any help reading this?" The lady looked at Matt blankly, and in a monotone (but with a tint of harshness) voice she said, "Am I now too old to read? I'm not yet blind, you bastard."

It was going to be a long day.

The rude lady had finally gone, which left Matt alone with the different scents of the flowers filling the room. He was sitting behind the desk, his face in one hand and the other sorting through the pens. All the blues together, all the blacks together, all the reds together. It was the segregation of the pens. The bells on the door chimed, and Matt looked up to see flaming red hair and a light yellow dress seemingly fall into the store. There was a clatter and he discovered he had dropped the pens onto the floor. Matt crouched on the floor, debating whether to go greet Karen or pick up the pens first. Deciding it might be a bit awkward for her to find him on the floor, he stood up and called her name. She looked over him with a surprised look.

"Matt! Hi. What're you doing here?"

"Um, ha, work here. You?"

"Oh, just picking up some flowers for my mum. It's her birthday in a couple days, so I figured I would send her some." He nodded, not sure of what to say next. He felt weird talking loudly across the store, so he walked over to her.

"Anything in particular you had in mind?"

"Uhh, just, you know. Something pretty?" She laughed a little, scrunching her nose. "I didn't think you were the type to work in a flower store."

"What? No! I'm not. I mean, I don't know, I need the money. Yeah. I'm not, you know, gay. Not that I have anything wrong with that! I just," cough, "couldn't find anything better." Karen laughed louder this time, throwing her head back and grabbing the shelf for support.

Matt was confused. "What? What's so funny?" Her laughter subsided, her face left in a big grin.

"Nothing, nothing. You're just…you're so awkward!" He snorted and Karen went into a fit of giggles again, this time hiding behind her hands.

"Karen. _Shut up, will y_—", Matt stopped talking and Karen stopped laughing all very suddenly, because his phone was ringing and nobody ever called him during the day.

"Matt? Matt, are you gonna answer that?" He was frozen in place, because there was only three people that could be: his mother, his sister, or the casting director of Doctor Who, and both his mother and sister were working.

Karen walked over to Matt, reached around him and dug into his pockets, searching for his phone. Usually he would have stopped her, especially since they had just met, but he couldn't seem to move. She answered it, put it to Matt's ear, and then flicked his cheek. This woke him up, and he confirmed his name, and then listened to the other person. When he hung up, his face was still in the shocked expression as before.

"Matt?"

"Karen."

She smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." A smile spread from ear to ear as Matt ran up and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up and spinning her around. It might've been a bit weird normally, but right then it felt like the only thing _to _do.

Matt's smile faded, and he placed Karen back on her feet. "But…have you been called back?"

"Um, no, I haven't. Nope." She wrinkled her nose and looked down at her feet. He suddenly felt very nervous, like if she didn't get the part it would upset him greatly…even though he had just met her. They were silent for a while.

The doorbell chimed again, and a giggly couple came in, seemingly attached at the hip. Matt stayed with Karen for a little, helping her find some decent flowers for her mum, and then after a goodbye and a hug he went to help the couple.

Matt was again alone in the store when he remembered that the pens were still on the floor behind the desk. He went to go pick them up and sort them out again, and while he was doing so he began to involuntarily smile, a strange sort of feeling rising from his chest and into his throat. He couldn't believe it. The man—Steven Moffat—said that there was no need for him to come back for a second audition because they had already decided on him, and that he was absolutely perfect. Matt didn't really know how to take that comment. He had just laughed nervously, forgetting his manners. Steven said someone would call when it was time to start rehearsals. _Rehearsals._ For Doctor Who. _Doctor Who._ Matt couldn't even contain how excited he was, and he had no idea what to do with himself. He called Laura and his mum and left about three messages on each answering machine.

It had been a very _good _long day.


	3. The Other

"Karen? Um," sniff, "are you here yet?"

"Yeah, in the kitchen!"

Lois slowly closed the door to their apartment and walked towards the kitchen. Karen, upon seeing Lois' tear streaked face, immediately rushed to her side.

"Love, what's wrong? What's happened?" She stroked her friend's hair as she cried into her shoulder. A million horrible things came to Karen's mind, and she shook her head angrily, attempting to rid her thoughts of what could've happened.

"It…it was Gary," Lois finally said.

"Gary? What'd you do? Did he hit you?"

"No, no, no. No, nothing like that. He just…he broke up with me."

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. It's just…we've been together for three years now. _Three years._ That's a long time."

"It is."

"And, well, I was ready to marry him. Not now, of course, but you know." Karen nodded, her heart aching for Lois. She didn't exactly know how Lois was feeling—Karen wasn't planning to get married any time soon, if ever—but she could definitely tell when her best friend was really hurting. Karen took Lois to the couch, made her a cup of tea (two, actually) and put on her favorite romantic comedy, Love Actually. It was about an hour into the movie when Lois fell asleep, her face red and raw from crying. Karen laid a blanket on her, turned the movie off, and went to her bedroom. A few minutes later, Patrick came into the room.

"Hey babe," he said, leaning down to the bed to kiss Karen's cheek. "What's up with Lois? She feeling okay?" Karen dog-eared the page she was on in her book and set it on her bedside table.

"Mmm. Breakup."

"Really, with Gary?" Patrick began to change into his pajamas. "Wow, I thought they'd be together forever."

"Yeah, me too." He climbed into bed, kissing Karen's cheek again.

"So how was your day, love?"

She turned to him, smiling slightly. "Pretty good. Went to get some flowers for my mum."

"Nice. Are we visiting her for her birthday?"

"Nah, I'm just gonna send them in the mail. So, how'd the filming go?"

"All right, I suppose. Mike finally fired that assistant of his, Trent."

"What? Noooo! But he was such a hard worker!" Karen said sarcastically. Patrick laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist. "So my place tomorrow? I don't have to go in, they're just doing the stunts." Karen groaned.

"But your flat is so _dirty!" _

"Yours isn't much better now, is it?"

"Hey. It's not messy, just cluttered. Gives it character." Patrick rolled his eyes, but was still smiling. "All right, your place tomorrow. But I'm cleaning up. And you're helping me, mister." Now it was Patrick's turn to groan.

"Night, love," she said, snuggling into his neck.

"Night." They closed their eyes, and right before Karen fell asleep, Patrick whispered:

"They'll call. You'll get the part. I promise."

It was two days later that Karen was called back by Steven Moffat's assistant, asking her to come in for a second audition. She had clutched her cell, nearly crushing it, and jumped up and down as silently as she could before putting the phone back to her ear and confirming that she will, most definitely, come for another audition. To celebrate, Karen bought a bottle of champagne at 11 am, sat in her car, and called her parents, putting them on speaker. Karen was only allowed to tell her parents, but she told Patrick anyways.

"Patrick! It's me. I got a callback!" Karen was overexcited, bouncing in the driver's seat.

"That's amazing. I knew you would get it."

"Well, I haven't actually got the part yet, silly."

"Hey, I gotta go, I'm about to shoot a scene. Let's talk later? Congratulations babe." Patrick hung up before Karen could say goodbye. Karen pouted slightly, hoping for a bigger reaction. But, he was at work. And it's not like she landed the role. And she definitely would not let this get her down. She had gotten a callback, for heaven's sake.

Matt stood in the kitchen of Aisha's, lingering by a platter of falafel while he waited for Yasmine to come in for her shift. She was the daughter of the owner, so she could afford to come in late. Matt didn't mind too much. He had made friends with most of the other employees, so he wasn't lonely. The past couple of days _had _been quite lonely, however, which wasn't unusual. Although Matt was a very friendly guy with a lot of friends, he didn't have constant people who he could call close. His friends were merely acquaintances, though he loved them all dearly.

When Yasmine finally came to work, Matt shouted a goodbye which was returned with waves and "have a good night mate"s. Matt opened the door and stepped into the night, and saw Daisy leaning against her car, a cigarette between her lips.

"My place or yours?"

"Have we skipped hellos, then?"

She rolled her eyes. "Hello, Matt." Daisy opened the car door, bending over as she reached in so Matt could almost see up her dress. "So?"

"Yours. Getting sick of my place," Matt said as he walked to the other side of the car, getting in. As Daisy drove, Matt mentally prepared himself, trying to clear his mind of the work day. He never did well in bed when he was thinking about work.

Matt woke up at about 2:30am. It was still dark outside, and the birds wouldn't start chirping for another two or three hours. Daisy had left, leaving the space beside him empty and cold. She was most likely at some party or other—nothing out of the ordinary for her. Matt got up to leave; he never liked being at her house without her. It was too empty, unfriendly, like it hadn't been lived in.

"Oh no. Fuck," Matt said as he stood on the sidewalk. He had forgotten that Daisy drove him to her flat and then left, leaving him with no car. He walked about five minutes to the closest town, and tried to find some place to go. _I could really use some coffee right now, _he thought. Luckily there was a little café about 3 minutes down the street. Fortunately he had his wallet with him.

The café was comfortably quiet, a couple people in solitude typing on their laptops or writing in their notebooks or reading their hardcover books. The only employee working was a young girl, about 17 or 18, leaning against the counter and scrolling through her phone. She didn't bother to look up at Matt when he walked in the door.

Matt laid his jacket down on a little round table and went to the counter, ordering straight black coffee. Once the girl came back with his order, Matt sat down and silently sipped, staring blankly at nothing in particular.

"God, finally! I thought you'd never make it."

"Sorry! My flatmate has been having a pretty bad week. Breakup, and all."

"I really, really don't care. Just let me leave, k?" Karen snorted as the girl grabbed her purse and all but ran out the door. Matt refused to look over at her, suddenly embarrassed at what a pathetic loser he was for being alone at a coffeeshop so early in the morning. He just had to make sure she didn't notice him until he could get out of there. He quickly drank the rest of his coffee, wincing at the bitter taste, and stood up to leave.

"Matt? Is that you?"

Shit.


	4. The Coffee Shop

**_Author's Note:_**** I am sooooooooooooo incredibly sorry for this horribly long wait! I honestly cannot tell you how sorry I am for taking this long. I've just been crazy busy with school and rehearsal and midterms and ugh. Everything. Not to mention I've been stuck with a horrible case of writer's block. :/ Thankyouthankyouthankyou all for the follows and reviews and stuff, they make me really happy :) It all definitely motivates me to keep writing 3**

Karen bounced over to the little round table that Matt was sitting at, sliding into the chair opposite him with a huge grin on her face. In return he forced a smile and nodded slightly.

"Hey, Karen," He said. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see her, he just felt a bit embarrassed. Here she was, happy and bright and ready to work, and he sat alone with a depressed air about him.

"Matt. I got the part! I get to play Amy Pond!" Karen's smile had seemed to grow bigger if that was even possible. It was highly contagious, and Matt smiled with teeth this time, shouting a sort of victorious sound. Karen laughed gleefully and continued.

"I got the callback, and I was really happy, and then I started getting nervous because what if I messed up horribly and just ruined it? But then I went to the audition room and David was really nice, and Steven was sort of odd and funny, and I just…did it. And I got the part, Matt!" She inhaled long after her rant, still visibly bubbling from excitement, and Matt got up and went around the small table. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, picked her up and as she let out a surprise squeal he was spinning her one, two, three times, just as he had at the flower shop when _he _had been the one to give the news. He finally put her down and they stood there at eye level, looking at each other in a nervous and excited way, because this was the start of a new life for the both of them, and they had no idea what was in store.

Matt stayed at the coffee shop a while, sitting at the table nearest to the counter and chatting with Karen as she worked. Matt learned that Karen was an only child, was a horrible cook, liked a lot of the same music as him, and was in love with all good films, new and old. Matt told her about his sister, his parents, his friends. He told her about his childhood dream to become a football player, which was sadly dismissed when he was injured. They went on like that for a while, asking questions back and forth like they were playing 20 questions. Matt usually would have been spending his Sunday searching online for acting jobs, but since he had gotten the part in Doctor Who he finally let himself relax.

Matt had moved from his chair to lean against the counter, making sure to move out of the way whenever people came up to order. He looked at Karen as she bustled around behind the counter, making coffee and tea and spreading cream cheese on bagels. Sometimes he would help her out by bringing the orders to the people's table. Her brightly red hair was held up in a messy loose ponytail, which was understandable because it _was _still really early in the morning. It swished around, brushing her cheeks as she turned her head. He thought she looked pretty, but in a different way than how he normally thought girls were pretty. It was a kind of pretty that included the way she talked and moved and how her eyes crinkled when she laughed. Karen came to the cash register, fiddling with the buttons with her eyebrows drawn close. The drawer wouldn't close all the way. She looked distressed, and Matt almost offered to help, but then decided against it. As cruel as it seemed, he thought it was rather funny to watch her struggle with ordinary things. She finally found and removed the dime that was caught in between the drawer and thing it slides out on, holding it up and shouting, _"Aha!" _Matt chuckled quietly, and then they both fell into a comfortable silence. The sound of someone typing on a keyboard was heard faintly from the back of the café, and the bells on the door chimed as someone entered.

Matt looked up suddenly. "Hey, Karen?"

"What's up?"

"Um, I was just wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me sometime? As a celebration or something." She looked shocked for split second, then looked down at her hands that were resting on the counter.

"I don't know if that would be such a good idea. I…I have a boyfriend."

"Oh!" Matt said, standing up a little straighter. "Oh, yeah, that's cool. That's fine, it's not big de—"

"I'm sorry." She seemed embarrassed for him. Matt mentally kicked himself.

"No, no, no, yeah it's absolutely fine." He cleared his throat, and they stood in another period of silence that was more awkward than comfortable.

"Well, I should go." It was only 4 in the morning and Matt had absolutely nothing to do that day. Karen smiled apologetically.

"Yeah, okay, Matt. It was nice seeing you again. I guess we'll see each other whenever they call." He nodded, making his way to the door and waving one last time before he went out of it. As soon as it shut Matt realized that his car was still parked outside of Aisha's.

"I need to pay my goddamn phone bill," Matt muttered to himself. He stood there, contemplating and cursing himself, when he heard a voice behind him, a smile coming through the words.

"Need a ride?" Arthur stood leaning against his rather nice blue car with a bird on his sweater and a smug look on his face.

"Dude. Yes."

Matt had met Arthur Darvill a couple times in the past, once even doing a play together, but it wasn't until he had found out Arthur was cast as Rory Williams in Doctor Who that they started hanging out. Matt and Arthur climbed into the car, and it came to life with a soft roar. They sat in silence for a couple minutes, lost in their own thoughts, before Matt spoke.

"Thanks man, I wasn't even thinking yesterday. Left my car at work."

"Daisy bailed again?"

"Mhmm."

"What's up with that? She doesn't even tell you where she's going?" They rounded the corner that led to Aisha's. "She's gotta be cheating on you, mate."

"Nah, it's not like that. I mean, yeah, she's definitely sleeping with other guys. But we're not dating or anything. I don't really care." Arthur looked at Matt, clearly not buying it.

"So you are, also?" Arthur parked the car, leaning back in his seat. "Sleeping with other people, I mean." Matt shrugged.

"I could, I guess. She won't care, that's for sure. I don't though, no. Doesn't seem right." Arthur snorted and then, seeming to reconsider, smiled at Matt.

"So what about you, mate? Are you bangin' any pretty ladies?"

Arthur laughed. "Not at the moment, no. But hey! I'm always up for a hot blind date."

"I'll have to work on that," Matt said, touching his index finger and thumb to his chin as if in pensive thought.

After Matt and Arthur said their goodbyes, Matt drove home, plopping face first on his couch as soon as he got there. It was only five-thirty in the morning and Matt was exhausted. But, a good kind of tired. He was tired from hardly any sleep, but he spent those hours with Karen and Arthur, which was fun. He couldn't wait for filming to start, when he'd see them all the time. He stopped a moment after that thought. What would it be like? He had never been in a television show for longer than a season—would they get tired of each other? Eventually learn to dislike and even hate each other? What if Karen and Arthur hated each other? Matt hoped not. It would make his job so much easier if they were all friends.


End file.
